Meddling — Really?

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Originally published 3/4/21

God continues to clarify for me how he defines pulling back (my word for 2021). Sometimes it relates to meddling. Hmmmmmm, I don’t like that.

“But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer
or as a meddler.
I Peter 4:15 (underline mine)

I forced myself to ask, why is a meddler mentioned along with those other really bad things?

Dictionary.com defines meddler as involving oneself in a matter without invitation.
The Cambridge-English dictionary says to try to have an influence on things that are not your responsibility.

Thank you to my friend Amy, my who shared with me, I often want to use my gift of discernment to “share” with my husband “insight” I think he needs to lead others. But my sinful flesh has definitely gotten mixed in with that insight. These areas are not my responsibility. I had been meddling.

I began to see the connection between pulling-back and meddling. Sometimes they are the same thing; sometimes they are not.

Allie* is going through a horrendous divorce. She is not my responsibility, but she is a friend and I do have an invitation. I am not pulling-back, I am reaching out. (not meddling)

Bill and I are leading a sabbatical team for Jay* and Carrie*. Our role is to ask questions that allow them to discern what they are hearing from God as opposed to giving advice or offering words to direct them. I am not pulling-back from questions; I am pulling-back from advice. (not meddling)

In our Sunday School community, I serve as one of the shepherds, being a friend to some of the women. I initiate; I listen; I pray. But I don’t carry responsibilities for other parts of our community. That’s where I’m learning to pull-back. They don’t need all my wonderful ideas! “It is soooooo much easier to give advice, and even think it is wanted!” Bulls-eye, Marion. (This one is hard for me … I kind of want to meddle.)

Then there are our GRANDS. Often I (we) need to discern where our participation is welcome and where do we need to pull-back and not meddle.

My dear friend April shared her insight. When I am inserting myself into someone else’s place, I’m assuming someone else’s responsibility and missing my “good work”. All good things are not MY good things. 

If I don’t pull-back, my time, capacity, and energy
to give myself to God’s purposes for me
are in jeopardy.

Jonah pulled back from what God asked him to do with dire consequences. Check out chapter 1. I heard the question from God, is there something God is asking of me and I’m pulling back?

I knew the answer right away. YES!

But I needed to pull-back, in some areas to cease meddling. This is offering me the freedom, the capacity, the energy I need to follow God’s purposes, his good work for me.

The very next verse in I Peter 4 gives the alternative to meddling,
“but let him glorify God”.
That’s my heart.

Thanks Linus … I think!

Copyright: Sue Tell, May 2023

 

2 thoughts on “Meddling — Really?

  1. Jennifer says:

    In response to the post on Meddling-it was well written/spoken and learning to discern where to pull back in areas of our life to not meddle. I told both my grown married children that I don’t ever want to be known as a meddler in their life. I have found it certainly takes the Holy Spirit to temper that and bring me to humility and sacrifice my own desires.

    • sue@suetell.com says:

      Hey Jennifer,

      I so get what you’re saying!!! Especially with our grown and married children. We love so much, and now our love needs to be expressed differently. I’m learning to trust them!! Thank you for your helpful and vulnerable comment!

      Sue

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